Sing Sing. Sunday. 27th July. 1851

Cool, charming day.

This is the 16 tenth anniversary of my wed.
ding day. I feel alone, and look back on the past as on,
a picture, where a shade is thrown too strongly on my own,
portrait. My husband and children, are bright, and Strong
no gloom rests on them. They are in glowing portraits.
My life is divided into separate scenes, like the voyage,
of the artist; each one stands by itself. First is comes eleven years of
simple innocent girlhood; a scene of pleasant hours.
Next, eleven years, of beauty, vanity, ambition, Love, sorrow, and
all the contending passions, which embitter the days, of
the worldling. Then comes a season for reflection; remorse,
and the regrets of a wasted youth; but still the desire of
being beloved; and the hope and penitence of the awakened
sinner. A new scene opens. I am married, to one, whom
I have known but a short time. One short year.
He knows my faults, and bears them; I forbear, we pass
along the stream of life, with much happiness.
We have four children, one is taken from us. My health,
becomes shattered, and face, and form changed; still I am loved.
Julia, Louis, and Remsen, are fine, handsome children, strong
and full of life. We are bound up in our children.
Now 16 years brings another picture.
Mr H. has altered in habit, but not much in appearance.
He is not full of industry, and self-exertion, but looks
for amusement; and leads an indolent life, in comparison
to the fortune; another life is in view; my desires
for this world, have been more than granted.
Julia , our daughter is a beautifull girl of 15., intelligent & accomplished.
Louis is a large boy of 14, much like his father. Remsen is
12, and resembles me in many things. They are both spirit
by indulgence, and Julia by adventure.

These scenes pass before me, now all promises fair, but what
sad changes, 16 years to come, may witness. Yet why should I
mistrust providence; over so kind, and indulgent to me & mine.

We do not go to church; or this morning. Garret is
at Stone. Ridge. He left on Friday last. did not send me a
line, only a message by Mr Swain. I felt hurt, but say
nothing. He sent a bundle of new music to Julia. She also
received a letter from Rima.
It s two weeks since I have written my daily journal, and I
am quite athand of my negligence.
Many things have transpired in this time, but nothing to mar
our enjoyment; unless it is G’s weariness of our society. He does not
love the country with the right love.
Last Sabbath we went to the Episcopal Church in Sing Sing. Julia
met some that she knew. I was very tired during the service .
Mrs Todd, invited us with great hospitality to dine with her.
Our ride in the afternoon delightfull, Mr H. took me below Tarry.
town; he has a cold, but does not complain.
He left on Tuesday. Louis drove him to Sing Sing. I rode a short dis.
tance, and walked home. It was very warm.
Henry came up on Thursday 24th to board, looks miserable; is very
weak, and delicate. Left his father more easy; less pain.
Mr Swain, came home on Saturday, 26th brought me a message
from Mr H. who left the city on Friday, 25th for the Ridge.
The Miss Todds, passed the day with us.
Miss Leggetts, call often.
I have finished some shirts, the two past weeks.
This afternoon, We took our waggon and went down the hill to hear
Dr Creighton. the small rooms were full, I liked his sermon.
The Dr and Miss Creighton, came up very politely to shake
Hands. Julia attracted much attention; she is fair & gentile.
Miss [Slidell], our old friend, came to greet us also.